Heroes

For my boys.

Google defines hero as:

/ˈhi(ə)rō/

Noun A person, typically a man, who is admired for courage or noble qualities. The chief male character in a book, play, or movie, who is typically identified with good qualities.

What a pathetic definition!  Two of my heroes don't fit that description.  They are not men, far from courageous and nobility, maybe.  My boys.  Of course, these two had my heart the moment I laid eyes on them but the joy I get in discovering who God made them to be is an adventure I look forward to each day.  They are truly my heroes.  These boys have a heart like Christ and for that they have my admiration.  If I had to walk a day in their shoes, I am sure I would be pouting in the corner, demanding for life to go back to normal! Oh, wait, I AM doing that on most days! These boys had their world turned upside down when we adopted the girls.  Adoption was a decision that we made as a family.  From day one, the boys were anxious to get the girls home.  We spent a lot of time trying to prepare them for how life would change when the girls came home.  Of course, we could only prepare them so much as we were not sure what to expect ourselves.  Silas would often come out of no where and say, "I wish I could just get on a plane and go get the girls!"  This was before he had even seen their faces.  Luke would often ask to watch the video of them over and over.  However, life since bringing the girls home, has not been sunshine and roses!  In the past 15 months, the boys have been short changed more times than I would ever want to admit.  They have been neglected, kicked out of their room (not really so bad since it turned into getting their own little bachelor pad!), lost freedoms, been yelled at, called names, hit and blamed.  They lost their calm, cool and collected parents for two grown babies who were crying, pouting, angry, and depressed about life (don't worry...we have recovered!  ;-) )  How does all this show me Christ in their hearts?  In a moment of revelation or pure insanity, (still deciding which one), Eric and I started discussing the possibility of adopting again.  Like I said, I am not clear on whether it is insanity or a revelation from God...He is going to have to be more clear and direct with me!  So we decided to ask the boys what they thought in total anticipation of them laughing in our faces.  Their responses brings tears to my eyes and draws me to my knees in repentance.  Luke's response:  "That would be awesome.  We would have another kid to play our games (games they made up to play with their sisters. Which turns out is all 4 of their favorite things to do), another person to play legos, baseball, sports and stuff.  Sounds good!"  To press for his real opinion we mentioned getting less attention.  He said, "That's alright.  I get too much attention anyway!"  As he started to walk into the kitchen, he turned in a panic, "We need to get another chair!!"  I love that concern was on hospitality not on himself.    Silas's response was just as precious (and for those of you who know Silas well, you can totally hear him saying this).  "I think we should do it.  Every kid needs parents.  I mean, you know, where would I be without my parents?"  Oh, how I long to have a heart like that.  A selfless, caring, and open heart to God's call.  I don't know what I did to deserve such God honoring boys but I thank Jesus everyday for them.  Thank you boys for reminding me why Christ was born and who my heroes should resemble!  Merry Christmas!  P.S. Life is too busy to edit!  Sorry!

Reflections

For those of you not on facebook, shame on you!  No just kidding!  For those of you who choose not to waste countless hours on facebook like me, last Thursday marked the 1 year anniversary of getting our girls.  It has been a crazy year!  Filled with literal blood, sweat, and tears.  Some mine, some the girls'.  It was filled with many highs and lots of extreme lows.  However,"What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger", right?  I can certainly say we are stronger today than a year ago.

I have spent the last few days reflecting on the past year and what I pray this coming year will look like.  I couldn't help but see my a resemblance of my own spiritual adoption.  From day one, the girls have been excited to be ours.  The first time I saw the girls, I was met with a beautiful, brown haired girl running across the baby home grounds with her arms open wide yelling, "Mama, Mama!"  She was followed by a little blondie who just learned to walk but knew how to flash a million dollar smile.  Yet, they were scared and nervous the first day we took them away from the comfort of the baby home...all they had really known. In their hearts, they knew this was supposed to be better but was it, really?   There have been times I have been so hurt and angry by their inability to trust us and to love us.  I know many of you are probably saying, "Well, of course, look at what they have been through."  I thought those things too until I started to experience it on a daily basis.  Adoption is a very complex and delicate journey. It is a journey of ten steps forward, 9 1/2 back.   I knew there would be hard times but I didn't realize just how painful it would be for me.  There are times that Ari and Elli get into such a panic that they literally can't hear what I am trying to say to them.  I have to sit and hold them until they calm down, come back to reality and see that I am not going to hurt them.  (For the record, I do necessarily believe that they came from a baby home where violence was common or accepted...but I don't know.)  In the beginning this made sense to me.  However, after months and months of this I thought they would have learned I am not going to hurt them but instead I want to teach them what is right.  Call me what you want but honestly, it makes me angry and sad.    My selfish side thinks, "Really girls?  I have poured my heart and soul into you, sometimes at the detriment of the boys and this is how you treat me?"  Selfish, I know.  But then I realize, I do the same thing to God.  How often do we run to God with arms open wide ready for him to sweep us up and make it all good?  Yet when faced with tough times, times that draw us out of our comfort zone, we panic, throw a big fit or just pretend we don't hear/see what He is asking of us.  We know that God is good and cares for us deeply but we are sometimes forced to put that belief to the test and it scares the daylights out of us! (or me, at least.)  I, for one, know that I do this more often than I want to admit.  I am just so glad that God is more patient, slower to anger and can offer more love than I can!  The good news is that the girls are getting better at trusting us.  And we are all learning to trust God a little more each day.  I am so thankful for his patience!

Here is a little video I made of this first year for them.  Enjoy!

8 MONTHS CLOSER

WARNING:  This is long winded and unedited.  Due to the circumstances, it is the best that I can do.  The reason it has taken me so long to update!


Wow!  It has been way too long since I sat down to blog about our girls.  Long overdue, I know.  Needless to say, we have been a little occupied!

Where to start?  Well, we have had the girls home now for almost 8 months.  We have had our ups and downs, our moments of pure joy, pure exhaustion, and pure frustration.  But most of all...we...have...SURVIVED!  I was prepared for a lot of things.  I was very guarded against romanticizing the process of adoption.  I knew that the trauma and hurt of loosing your biological mother is so deep and complex that we would have a lot of healing to do.  I was prepared for going from man to man to a zone defense!  I knew adding two more kids would require more of my time, attention, and patience.  I knew we had covered this decision and process in prayer and thoughtfulness so God was leading us each step of the way.  What I wasn't prepared for, what no one really talks about because it is ugly, was the painful cleansing of my own heart.  I wasn't prepared to see the dark parts of my heart.  You know the ones.  The parts of us we think we have overcome, the parts we think we have control of or even the parts we thought we cleaned out for good.  The parts I would like to forget about!  I wasn't prepared for the grief I felt over loosing our family of four.  I really wanted to do this and I don't regret it at all.  I was prepared to deal with the girls grieving but not my own.  And to top it all off...a big dose of guilt.  Guilt for getting frustrated with the girls, guilt for longing for days with just the boys again, guilt for not knowing how to heal the girls.  Guilt for questioning God.

I wish I could say we have worked all this out but like the process of adoption, learning to love a complete stranger is also a process...a very complex process.  Don't get me wrong.  We love the girls and I believe the girls love us.  However, it is a growing, developing love that still needs time to mature in it's foundation.  And I am confident in that foundation because this was all founded on God.  With that being said let me highlight the joys we have had and the progress we have made.

I will start with Elli because she has made some amazing improvements.  But before I go into her progress, let me get on my soap box for a moment.  According to World Orphans, there are a staggering 163,000,000 orphans in the world.  While many people turn their noses up at us (many of whom would never adopt) because they think people who adopt should take any child...especially a special needs child.   Not one of them deserves a home more than another.  Each and everyone of those 163,000,000 children want and need a forever home, a mom and a dad.  So the next time you start to get judgmental about the choices adoptive parents make (i.e. domestic or international, male or female, healthy or special needs) remember God called them to this choice and he has already chosen a child for that family.  Unless you are smarter than God, you ought to be thankful for there being one less orphan in the world.  OK, off my soapbox and back to Elli. When we received her complete medicals in Russia, we were very concerned about her.  We had asked for our children to have nothing more than minor, correctable special needs but really wanted just healthy children.    See, we are self employed which means we are self insured.  So taking on a child with major medical issues was not in our or their best interest.  Elli was given to us with a hole in her heart, an troubling kidney issue that did not translate to English (so we weren't sure what we were dealing with) and a birth mark or defect on her Retina.  As well, she was super small (still is) and showed characteristic behaviors of Autism.  We decided that God had brought us these girls so we had to trust God that everything would work out.  When we returned home, we had all her issues checked out.  To our amazement, not one of the ailments were present!  We believe God was faithful and healed her completely.  She didn't test for autism and she didn't even qualify for First Steps for speech delays.  We can do nothing else but believe God had his hand in it all.

Looking back at pictures, it is hard to believe these are the same two little girls!  When we first met Elli, she had just learned to walk and she was on the move any chance she could get.  Typical, right?  What we later discovered is that she was really trying to get away from us!  She was so nervous.  We also thought she had a problem with her jaw because when she smiled it was always cocked to the side.  Again, we discovered later that this is a nervous habit.  Thankfully she now loves to smile and laugh.  She is super attached to her mama and has recently started loving on her papa.  She is quite a daredevil!  Nothing is unreachable!  She has no fear...except for the UPS truck...but only if it is coming up our hill.  She celebrated her 2nd birthday just 2 months after we got home.  She has been so much fun but I will say she deep into the terrible twos so we get to see her stubborn side quite a bit lately.  However, I told her the other day, "Sorry little one, you may be stubborn but God pick two of the most stubborn people in the world to be your mom and day."  We will survive!

Ari...sweet Ari.  Ari has made improvements, though hers have been smaller.  Of the two, she is definitely the more cautious.  She loves her daddy!  He certainly hangs the moon.  She has finally started wanting her mama more.  She has become more trusting of the furry, four legged creatures in our house.  However, she didn't seem to torn up that Jackson died (at least not like Luke, Silas and I...to be expected).  Funniest thing has been how terrified she was of our animals.  Why so funny?  We went to a friends house who have donkeys and horses.  She walked right up to them without an second thought!  She is completely obsessed with horses.  Dad is a little concerned about this passion...or at least about the expense of it!  Ari loves to sing and dance.  She loves all things girly.  Thank goodness for Grandma coming to paint her nails every once in a while!  She already has a strong opinion on what clothes she wants, how her hair should be and a strong need for accessories!  When we began preparing her for Christmas, we told her there would be presents, toys, cake, cookies, and candy.  She replies, "What about shoes?  Will I get new shoes?  New clothes?"  What am I going to do when she is a teenager?  I am SCARED!

Ari still has some major trust issues.  She asks a lot of questions!!!  Questions she already knows the answers to and some that make absolutely no sense at all.  This is her way to control her environment and calm her nerves.  We took the family to the beach in February and she did great.  I wasn't sure how she would handle the change but she seemed to roll with it the best she could.  Both girls loved Florida.  They love to swim!  

Mom & Dad had a relaxing time too!

Ari will celebrate her 4th birthday at the end of the month.  She asked for clothes, shoes and babies!

Throughout this entire process, Luke and Silas have been the most amazing, selfless boys!  They have embraced their sisters with love that can only come from Jesus.  They have been a true inspiration to me.  I need to love and accept openly just as they do.  Their patience has been tested and they have passed with flying colors.  I am so proud of them.  They love teaching the girls all kinds of new things and helping take a burden off mom and dad.  They will be awesome men and husbands one day.

Now we await the arrival of our new nephew/cousin from Lesotho.  Trent, Kristi and Samantha will be returning from South Africa at the end of the month with their adorable son/brother!  We all can't wait to meet him and love him into the family.

1 week

Well, it has been one week.  One week since we got home with the girls.  I can't believe how well everything has gone!  The Lord has really been good to us.  The girls are sleeping well  (although like any toddler/preschooler they would rather not), eating well and adjusting well.  


Ariana is the type of little girl that is so easy to love.  Most people take to her very quickly.  She is sweet, outgoing and energetic.  When we first met Elliana, we had some real concerns.  She has several questionable health problems.  She didn't speak, not even mutter sounds.  And she would not really engage us at all.  So we have been so surprised and delighted to see Elli come out of her shell.  Since being with us now for 2 1/2 weeks, her personality has exploded.  She is such a joy to have around.  She is super happy, and just plain hilarious.  She even hugs me and lays her head on my shoulder.  Something I though she would never do!  Eric and I were not to excited when we received a referral that included an 18 month old.  We had asked for a 3 & 4 year old.  However, we believe God knows best and accepted the referral anyway.  I am so glad we did.  We would have missed out on this amazing little girl.


Although the girls are doing great, they still have some issues of being institutionalized.  Ari needs constant reassurance in everything she does.  Elli is very scared of little things like cameras, vacuum cleaners, loud objects.  They both are scared of our pets.  Well, they were scared of the cat but now they are obsessed to the point of us having to hide the cat for her sanity!  The dogs we are moving a bit slower on but it will come.  Mainly because you don't get this mama without at least 1 dog!  It's just a fact they will have to accept.  :-)  Both girls are obsessed with food.  They have never really had a choice in food.  No choice in what they will eat, when they will eat or how much.  Now, we don't give them that much freedom but we have let them try many things just to see what they like.  They have both reacted a bit differently.  Ari has become picky. Elli, on the other hand, would eat anything she could get her hands on.  She even hoards it in her cheeks!  We have nicknamed her chipmunk.  


I can't imagine what their little minds are thinking!  I am sure at times they are like the Israelites.  Familiarity can look so much better than freedom in the midst of the journey.  I just pray that God whispers to them every night while they sleep that we love them and that this is a better place for them.  I also pray that they will embrace Jesus for all that he has done for them.  For buying their eternal freedom and also their earthly freedom.  I pray that Eric and I can have patience and understanding with them (they are cute but we are only human!).  


God is so good!


Thank you so much for all those of you who have been praying for the us.  We appreciate it more than we could ever express.  God has blessed us with so many wonderful people in our lives.  We would not be able to do any of this without you all!

Are you talkin' to me?

Growing up I had the typical girl dreams.  A big fancy wedding with prince charming, a cute little house in a quiet neighborhood, and a couple of kids and dogs.  You know, an Ozzie and Harriet life.  All was going as planned until shortly after Luke was born.  Eric came to me one day and said he just didn't want to live the Ozzie and Harriet life.  He said he wasn't sure what it looked like but the "cookie cutter" life wasn't what he saw for us.  This left me to my own imagination and let me tell you that is not good!  I had pictures of us living in straw huts, dirt floors in the middle of war torn Africa...with a baby!  Let's just say, I did not receive his news well.  I kept praying that God would either give me the same desire or destroy it in Eric's heart.  Ok, the truth is, I prayed more for the second half than the first.  BUT  I also prayed for a different picture in both our hearts that still pushed our comfort zone.

After Luke safety turned one here in America ;-), Eric started talking about adopting.  Quite frankly, I was not open to it.  I was not ready for it.  I wanted another biological child. You can't have Luke without a Silas.  They go together.  They were Paul's traveling partners.   I don't know why I was so stubborn.  I am sure fear had a lot to do with it.  So, we soon had Silas.  Ahh, Silas...I couldn't imagine my life without him!  For as long as I could remember, I wanted to be a stay at home mom.  I really wanted to be Harriet.  Calm, cool, collected and sweet.  Then I woke up.  Have you ever had one of those days where you say..."I am not as good at this as I thought I would be"?  Don't get me wrong.  I loved being a mom and I loved staying home with my boys.  Funny thing is...life is not a perfect TV show.  Not Ozzie and Harriet, not the Cleavers, not even the Cosby's.  Two kids seemed enough for us but I still had a nagging feeling for more.  I had decided it would be nice to have more but Eric and I were just not made for a large family or even one more child.

Then we decided to homeschool.  Now if you know anything about homeschooling, you know there are many large families.  There it was in my face.  All these super moms.  I started putting mom's of more than 2 kids on a pedestal.  Thinking "I wish I was made for that", "I wish I was a natural mother like her".  I know it is wrong but those were my honest thoughts.

So after some years of talking more about adopting.  We were on again, off again.  It seemed never the right time or that we just weren't right for it.  Then over night, we decided to go for it.  Honestly, during this whole process I expected God to stop it because we were right from the beginning.  We just weren't made for more.  We were made to be Ozzie and Harriet.  I would literally pray, "God, we are going to move forward with this unless you stop it"  I prayed that so many times that I am sure God was annoyed.  I guess I just couldn't believe that living outside of the Ozzie and Harriet life could be so easy...or at least so fun.  This had to be a pipe dream.

Now, just days before we pick up our girls (#3 & #4 in our quiver), I am still in awe.  I have even asked "God, did you forget to stop this earlier?  We are a little too far now, right?"  Maybe it is just the nature of adoption.  The natural uncertainty dealing with governments.  But I have had a hard time accepting that God had deemed me worthy of more children, to me the mother of these precious two girls that only deserve wonderful things after all they have been through.  I know I will not always live up to what they deserve.  Then God reminded me that Moses said the same thing before he lead Israel out of their captivity in Egypt.  God doesn't want someone capable of doing it on their own.  God wants the willing not the able.  There is no glory for God if you don't need him every step of the way.  So "God, don't bail on me now!"  And I know He won't because He has lead this journey from the beginning of time.  What a miserable mess I would be if it weren't for Him.

Exodus 3

Moses and the Burning Bush

 ¹ Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the wilderness and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. ² There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. ³ So Moses thought, “I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up.”

 ⁴ When the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, “Moses! Moses!”

   And Moses said, “Here I am.”

 ⁵ “Do not come any closer,” God said. “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.” ⁶ Then he said, “I am the God of your father,^[a] the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.” At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God.

 ⁷ The LORD said, “I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. ⁸ So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey—the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. ⁹ And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them. ¹⁰ So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.”

 ¹¹ But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”

 ¹² And God said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you^[b] will worship God on this mountain.”

 ¹³ Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?”

 ¹⁴ God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.^[c] This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.’”

 ¹⁵ God also said to Moses, “Say to the Israelites, ‘The LORD,^[d] the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you.’

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  
                                                                                       Jeremiah 29:11

Letters and Reflections to My Daughters - 1 by Eric Collier

10 days to go, September 2011

Dear Ari and Elli,

There was once a man named John Newton.  John is famous for a song he wrote called Amazing Grace. 

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

Most books written about John, tell about his radical conversion from a wretched slave trader to a pastor.  His dramatic conversion reminds me of Saul's conversion to Paul.  Both stories tell of men who were very bad that turned good because of God's grace on them.  But what most people don't know, is that John Newton adopted two little girls and later wrote beautiful letters to them. 

My purpose in writing you is to share my deepest, unimaginable love for you, to encourage you to accept our love and share it throughout your blessed life, and to encourage you dear children;

"when you look at the sun  I wish it may lead your thoughts to him who made it, and who placed it in the sky, not only to give us light, but to be the brightest, noblest emblem of himself; there is but one sun, and there needs not be another; so there is but one Saviour; but he is complete and all-sufficient, the Sun of righteousness, the fountain of life and comfort; his beams, wherever they reach, bring healing, strength, peace, and joy to the soul.  Pray to him, my dears, to shine forth and reveal himself to you.  O how different is he from all that you have ever seen with your bodily eyes!  He is the sun of the soul, and he can make you as sensible of his presence as you are of the sunshine at noonday; and when once you obtain clear sight of him, a thousand little things which have hitherto engaged your attention, will, in a manner, disappear.

               

                As by the light of op'ning day

                The stars are all conceal'd;

                So earthly beauties fade away

                When Jesus is reveal'd.

I entreat, I charge you to ask him every day to show himself to you. Think of him as being always with you ; about your path by day, about your bed by night, nearer to you than any object you can see, though you see him not ; whether you are sitting or walking, in company or alone. People often consider God as if he saw them from a great distance : but this is wrong; for though he be in heaven, the heaven of heavens cannot contain him ; he is as much with us as with the angels ; in him we live, and move, and have our being ; as we live in the air which surrounds us, and is within us, so that it cannot be separated from us a moment. And whatever thoughts you can obtain of God from the Scripture, as great, holy, wise, and good, endeavor to apply them all to Jesus Christ, who once died upon the cross, for he is the true God and eternal life, and though he be the King of kings and Lord of lords, and rules over all; he is so compassionate, that he will hear and answer the prayer of a child. Seek him, and you shall find him ; whatever else you seek, you may be disappointed, but he is never sought in vain."

I loved you before I knew you...

After your oldest brother Luke was born, God first put the thought in my heart to adopt.  I didn't really know why at that point, I was just figuring out how to hold a baby and change a diaper (yuck), but that idea was there and not going away.  There was just this thought that life's circumstances can leave children without a mom and a dad and if we were not open to love and give these children a home, then who would?  It was in these moments that my love started taking root and God started giving me the capacity to love you.  We read a verse in the Bible in the book of James chapter 1 verse 27 that says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

So indeed it was God that was stirring deep within us this desire to adopt you!

After discussing it, mom and I both decided to try and have another child and a few years after Luke, Silas was born. 

It took us a few years to get control of life again, but after doing so we started looking into adopting again.  A few years ago, we took some training classes and ultimately decided to wait until the boys got a little bit older. 

As you grow older, you will find great examples of faith and obedience by your friends and family.  We had many of those examples that we had witnessed adopt children and they provided encouragement to us.  Without them, I don't know that we would have had the courage or resolve to do it; so I thank God for them and he knows the reward they will receive.

That brings us to this year 2011 on a cold, dreary day in January. 

Mom and dad sat in our great room.  The one by the fireplace.  I remember it vividly as if it was  yesterday.  The snow was falling outside the big windows as we discussed adopting you.    "If you won't give these children a loving home, then who will?" turned into "if now is not the time, then when?"  We both agreed that we would and now was the time!  How appropriate that we were having Russian weather outside?  At that moment, our love sprouted its beautiful wings and we started loving you despite never having met you! 

Ya Tebya Lyublyu,

Papa

OH, IRENE!

Well, travel plans have changed.  Irene has had her way and our flights were all cancelled.  We stayed up all night trying to find alternate routes.  The result:  We will arrive in Russia just an hour or two before our court appearance (too close for my comfort!).  The worst part is that the airline will not let us change our return flight so we will get into St. Petersburg at 11:30am and leave the following day at 12:45pm.  Yes, that equals just over 24 hours.  Worst of all, it only allows us to see the girls two times!

As I have said, my heart is torn between my girls and my boys.  I was very sad that I would miss their football games today.  So I have decided that instead of dwelling on this being a trial, I am going to accept this as a gift from God.  I was able to see the boys play football today and still make our court date.  Thank you, God.

Our next step will be to see if we can actually make it home!  Depending on what Irene deals New York City, our flights may be canceled again.  Either way we have a plan so we feel good about it but prayers are always welcomed.  And, I wouldn't mind everyone asking for a miracle by praying for the ten day waiting period to be waved.  That would just be an awesome display of God's power and presence to a people who are still rather unfamiliar with Him.

Here is a video that my friends made for a shower they gave me.  Thanks Kelly & Amy!  You girls are the best! (sorry for the quality.  I was having problems uploading a better version.)