OH, IRENE!

Well, travel plans have changed.  Irene has had her way and our flights were all cancelled.  We stayed up all night trying to find alternate routes.  The result:  We will arrive in Russia just an hour or two before our court appearance (too close for my comfort!).  The worst part is that the airline will not let us change our return flight so we will get into St. Petersburg at 11:30am and leave the following day at 12:45pm.  Yes, that equals just over 24 hours.  Worst of all, it only allows us to see the girls two times!

As I have said, my heart is torn between my girls and my boys.  I was very sad that I would miss their football games today.  So I have decided that instead of dwelling on this being a trial, I am going to accept this as a gift from God.  I was able to see the boys play football today and still make our court date.  Thank you, God.

Our next step will be to see if we can actually make it home!  Depending on what Irene deals New York City, our flights may be canceled again.  Either way we have a plan so we feel good about it but prayers are always welcomed.  And, I wouldn't mind everyone asking for a miracle by praying for the ten day waiting period to be waved.  That would just be an awesome display of God's power and presence to a people who are still rather unfamiliar with Him.

Here is a video that my friends made for a shower they gave me.  Thanks Kelly & Amy!  You girls are the best! (sorry for the quality.  I was having problems uploading a better version.)

Full of Emotions

Wow, I never knew I could feel so many emotions at one time.  Most of them on opposite ends of the spectrum from each other.  Anxiousness, excitement, joy, thanksgiving....Fear, apprehensiveness, sadness, guilt.  Yes, that is my emotional status for the last month.  Would you like to live with me?  Have pity on my husband!  He deserves it.

My boys have never been too far from me.  When they have been, they have always been in the care of trusted family members who care for them as much as we do.  My heart is torn right now though.  Half of my heart is in Russia and the other half is sitting here with me watching cartoons.  If I go where my other half lives, then I am still not whole.  This is torture!  What is worse, is knowing that this next trip will still require me to leave half my heart in a foreign country, with strangers.  I have to daily had it over to God.  Trust that he is taking care of my precious girls until I can bring them home in about a month.  I have to keep reminding myself that God is the one who gave me these four amazing gifts in the first place and remember his promises.  He will care for them better than I ever could.  And he loves them more than I ever could.  He created them and they were a part of His family before they were made a part of mine.

Lot's of travels in the next month.  Please pray for travel safety, smooth adoption processing and smooth transition from party of 4 to party of 6!

Please report to court

So excited that we received our court date today.  We will be heading back to Russia for our court date.  We were a little disappointed to have it so late in August but that is overshadowed by our joy of just having a date given to us.  While it isn't our preferred time frame, it is one step closer to bringing the girls home.  This second trip will be a much shorter trip than the last one (I am afraid the jet lag is going to kill me on this one!) about 3-4 days.  On the court date,  the Russian government will officially declare the girls ours and give them new birth certificates with Eric and I as their parents and their last names will be Collier!  However, Russia has a mandatory waiting period of 10 business days before we can take the girls from the orphanage.  Our third trip will be another long trip as we have to spend 6 days in St. Petersburg for paperwork and 3-4 days in Moscow for more paperwork.  So much bureaucracy!  We are just thankful for God's hand in every detail that has allowed us to enjoy every moment of this journey.

First of Three

We are back from our first trip to St. Petersburg, Russia.  What a beautiful city!  We loved it!  We had such an amazing time meeting our girls and getting to see the sights of their birthplace.  We have absolutely fallen in love with that city.

From Eric:

Meeting our girls for the first time was a moment neither of us will ever forget.  Prior to meeting them they had never seen us, never heard our names, but the thought of a mama and papa was clearly on their minds.  We can't describe to you the moment we arrived at the baby home.  All the kids were playing outside.  I was feeling too much pressure and felt too awkward to pull out the video camera, but the moment is etched into my memory for eternity. 

I, more than Traci, was a little nervous about having girls.  Boys…they are easy…throw a ball, grunt, wrestle them to the floor and they are having a ball.  Girls, I wasn't so sure about.  Traci on the other hand knows exactly how to handle little girls and I just kind of followed her lead.    

All the kids were outside when we got to the baby home for the first time.  I remember the feeling of walking around the playground.  I was excited and nervous.  Would they want to be with us, would they throw a tantrum, etc?  First passing one group, then another.  All the kids had hats on so making out their faces wasn't really possible.  "Mama", I heard her before I saw her as Ariana "Nastia" ran out of her group and literally jumped into Traci's arms.  Next Elliana "Tasia" ran from the same group.  She's only 18 months so I was surprised that she was doing this as well.  She ran right to me and I picked her up.  She's tiny, maybe the size of a 1 year old.  Next, came a flurry of activity as we followed them from one playground apparatus to another. 

I left that first visit thinking what just happened!  The first visit was surreal.  It wasn't the best of our visits as those came later as we got to have some inside bonding time with the girls, but it was a moment neither of us will ever forget. 

We learned later when we met with the social worker that their mother had been an orphan who aged out of the institution at age 18.  She had Ari shortly thereafter.  Ari and Elli won't spend a day longer in the baby home than we are required to let them.  Their future is full of hope and promise! 

There are lots of videos and pictures on facebook documenting the trip.  If a picture is worth a thousand words, a video must be worth a million.  Not much I can say here can convey those thoughts as well as the videos.  I can tell you that I think Ari is really special.  She's smart, engaging, and funny.  At one point though, we are pretty sure she was sassing us in Russian!  Elli, was a bit harder to pin down at first because she has just recently starting walking well and was always on the move.  Plus, it's been so long since either of us had an 18 month old.  She catches on to what her sister is doing really fast though.  I bet that in 6 weeks when we go back she'll have changed a lot.

My birthday, August 16th, is our target date for going back.  It's a lot to ask of the courts, but we are hoping none the less to have court in August so we can bring them home at the end of the summer. 

Last night Luke shared something with me that took me by surprise.  I'm not sure his mom even knows about this yet as she was already asleep.  Each night, we uploaded videos and pictures and called home via Skype.  This way the call was free and we could see each other on video.  That was awesome and helped us miss the boys less.  Luke told me that after he had watched the video of the girls one night as he laid in bed that "tears starting streaming down his face because he wanted so badly to be able to go and see them and hold them."  I think he's going to make a great big brother to the girls!  I also think that we are blessed to have the Holy Spirit working on all of our hearts.  I know God must be doing the same thing for the girls.

Leaving was hard.  On the one hand we missed home and the boys were really starting to miss us by day 10.  We sensed it on the last couple of calls.  We also recognized that the girls were getting quite used to us and the little bit of freedom we brought them each day.  We can only hope that they understand why we had to leave.  Before Silas was born, I wondered if I could love him as much as I loved Luke.  Of course I learned that I could.  I also wondered if I would love the girls as much as I do the boys, that question has been answered as well.    Our bond will be unique and one of a kind.  I can only imagine what it will be like to have them home and what a day looks like a year from now with them a part of our family.  Until that time though, it's as if part of us is missing.  A part we didn't even know existed 7 months ago.

5000 miles

Well, we made the long journey to Russia.  We were so blessed to be able to sit Business class the whole way!  Talk about being spoiled! 
Saint Petersburg is beautiful.  We have not seen the girls yet.  We can't see them until we get the official referral tomorrow.  We will keep you posted. 
Please continue to pray for our travels, the girls, for good bonding time with the girls and also for the boys at home with thier grandparents.  And lastly for me to feel good...seems I may have a sinus infection.  Hoping it is just a result of jet lag.

Here we go!

Well, Russia approved us!  We have our appointment with the judge in Russia and we will get to see the girls the whole week we are there.  We have lots to do to get ready and very little time to do it!  We are so excited and grateful to God for orchestrating everything perfectly to this point.  We know He will continue to be faithful.

I can't believe it is already time to go but at the same time it feels like the perfect time.  I am a little speechless at the moment...mainly because my mind is racing with all the things I need to do in the next week.  We will keep you posted.

Keep us in your prayers for safe travels, timely flights, that the girls will be open to meeting us and their adjustment to their new lives, and the Russians we will be with to see God's glory in all of it.

Bitter Sweet Celebration

         We spent a wonderful Memorial Day weekend camping in Kentucky with great friends.  Several times throughout the weekend we made note of the changes coming to our family;  bigger tent, more stuff, I will no longer be making solo trips to the bathroom, etc.  It is fun to imagine how our lives will be changed forever as well as the lives of Anastasia (Ana) and Taisia (Elli).  We finished the weekend off by celebrating a major milestones for both Anastasia and Taisia.  On May 26th, Taisia turned 18 months and on May 29th, Anastasia turned 3 years old.  I can't help but feel bitter sweet about the celebration.  On one hand, we had hoped to be in Russia in May to celebrate with Anastasia but God's time proved better!  On the other hand, the girls probably know nothing about us yet.
        Can you imagine being 3 years old or 18 mths and having your mother hand you off to complete strangers?  Waiting for her return for over a year?  Introducing you to someone as your sibling only to have never seen or heard of her before?  Followed by being told a new mommy and daddy will be coming to take you to a new home, new brothers, pets, lifestyle, language, and country?  Their lives have been so short but full of confusion, insecurity and hurt.  It almost seems wrong to cause more pain and confusion by removing them from the orphanage and caregivers that they have come to know well.   However, just like our journey to eternity is never without troubles and heartache, these girls will be better for it.  While I am still trying to figure out how to be joyful in those times as Paul calls us to be, I know the troubles and heartaches mold me, refine me, and make me shine like gold before our Lord.  This is what I hope for the girls.