1 week

Well, it has been one week.  One week since we got home with the girls.  I can't believe how well everything has gone!  The Lord has really been good to us.  The girls are sleeping well  (although like any toddler/preschooler they would rather not), eating well and adjusting well.  


Ariana is the type of little girl that is so easy to love.  Most people take to her very quickly.  She is sweet, outgoing and energetic.  When we first met Elliana, we had some real concerns.  She has several questionable health problems.  She didn't speak, not even mutter sounds.  And she would not really engage us at all.  So we have been so surprised and delighted to see Elli come out of her shell.  Since being with us now for 2 1/2 weeks, her personality has exploded.  She is such a joy to have around.  She is super happy, and just plain hilarious.  She even hugs me and lays her head on my shoulder.  Something I though she would never do!  Eric and I were not to excited when we received a referral that included an 18 month old.  We had asked for a 3 & 4 year old.  However, we believe God knows best and accepted the referral anyway.  I am so glad we did.  We would have missed out on this amazing little girl.


Although the girls are doing great, they still have some issues of being institutionalized.  Ari needs constant reassurance in everything she does.  Elli is very scared of little things like cameras, vacuum cleaners, loud objects.  They both are scared of our pets.  Well, they were scared of the cat but now they are obsessed to the point of us having to hide the cat for her sanity!  The dogs we are moving a bit slower on but it will come.  Mainly because you don't get this mama without at least 1 dog!  It's just a fact they will have to accept.  :-)  Both girls are obsessed with food.  They have never really had a choice in food.  No choice in what they will eat, when they will eat or how much.  Now, we don't give them that much freedom but we have let them try many things just to see what they like.  They have both reacted a bit differently.  Ari has become picky. Elli, on the other hand, would eat anything she could get her hands on.  She even hoards it in her cheeks!  We have nicknamed her chipmunk.  


I can't imagine what their little minds are thinking!  I am sure at times they are like the Israelites.  Familiarity can look so much better than freedom in the midst of the journey.  I just pray that God whispers to them every night while they sleep that we love them and that this is a better place for them.  I also pray that they will embrace Jesus for all that he has done for them.  For buying their eternal freedom and also their earthly freedom.  I pray that Eric and I can have patience and understanding with them (they are cute but we are only human!).  


God is so good!


Thank you so much for all those of you who have been praying for the us.  We appreciate it more than we could ever express.  God has blessed us with so many wonderful people in our lives.  We would not be able to do any of this without you all!

Are you talkin' to me?

Growing up I had the typical girl dreams.  A big fancy wedding with prince charming, a cute little house in a quiet neighborhood, and a couple of kids and dogs.  You know, an Ozzie and Harriet life.  All was going as planned until shortly after Luke was born.  Eric came to me one day and said he just didn't want to live the Ozzie and Harriet life.  He said he wasn't sure what it looked like but the "cookie cutter" life wasn't what he saw for us.  This left me to my own imagination and let me tell you that is not good!  I had pictures of us living in straw huts, dirt floors in the middle of war torn Africa...with a baby!  Let's just say, I did not receive his news well.  I kept praying that God would either give me the same desire or destroy it in Eric's heart.  Ok, the truth is, I prayed more for the second half than the first.  BUT  I also prayed for a different picture in both our hearts that still pushed our comfort zone.

After Luke safety turned one here in America ;-), Eric started talking about adopting.  Quite frankly, I was not open to it.  I was not ready for it.  I wanted another biological child. You can't have Luke without a Silas.  They go together.  They were Paul's traveling partners.   I don't know why I was so stubborn.  I am sure fear had a lot to do with it.  So, we soon had Silas.  Ahh, Silas...I couldn't imagine my life without him!  For as long as I could remember, I wanted to be a stay at home mom.  I really wanted to be Harriet.  Calm, cool, collected and sweet.  Then I woke up.  Have you ever had one of those days where you say..."I am not as good at this as I thought I would be"?  Don't get me wrong.  I loved being a mom and I loved staying home with my boys.  Funny thing is...life is not a perfect TV show.  Not Ozzie and Harriet, not the Cleavers, not even the Cosby's.  Two kids seemed enough for us but I still had a nagging feeling for more.  I had decided it would be nice to have more but Eric and I were just not made for a large family or even one more child.

Then we decided to homeschool.  Now if you know anything about homeschooling, you know there are many large families.  There it was in my face.  All these super moms.  I started putting mom's of more than 2 kids on a pedestal.  Thinking "I wish I was made for that", "I wish I was a natural mother like her".  I know it is wrong but those were my honest thoughts.

So after some years of talking more about adopting.  We were on again, off again.  It seemed never the right time or that we just weren't right for it.  Then over night, we decided to go for it.  Honestly, during this whole process I expected God to stop it because we were right from the beginning.  We just weren't made for more.  We were made to be Ozzie and Harriet.  I would literally pray, "God, we are going to move forward with this unless you stop it"  I prayed that so many times that I am sure God was annoyed.  I guess I just couldn't believe that living outside of the Ozzie and Harriet life could be so easy...or at least so fun.  This had to be a pipe dream.

Now, just days before we pick up our girls (#3 & #4 in our quiver), I am still in awe.  I have even asked "God, did you forget to stop this earlier?  We are a little too far now, right?"  Maybe it is just the nature of adoption.  The natural uncertainty dealing with governments.  But I have had a hard time accepting that God had deemed me worthy of more children, to me the mother of these precious two girls that only deserve wonderful things after all they have been through.  I know I will not always live up to what they deserve.  Then God reminded me that Moses said the same thing before he lead Israel out of their captivity in Egypt.  God doesn't want someone capable of doing it on their own.  God wants the willing not the able.  There is no glory for God if you don't need him every step of the way.  So "God, don't bail on me now!"  And I know He won't because He has lead this journey from the beginning of time.  What a miserable mess I would be if it weren't for Him.

Exodus 3

Moses and the Burning Bush

 ¹ Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the wilderness and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. ² There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. ³ So Moses thought, “I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up.”

 ⁴ When the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, “Moses! Moses!”

   And Moses said, “Here I am.”

 ⁵ “Do not come any closer,” God said. “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.” ⁶ Then he said, “I am the God of your father,^[a] the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.” At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God.

 ⁷ The LORD said, “I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. ⁸ So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey—the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. ⁹ And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them. ¹⁰ So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.”

 ¹¹ But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”

 ¹² And God said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you^[b] will worship God on this mountain.”

 ¹³ Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?”

 ¹⁴ God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.^[c] This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.’”

 ¹⁵ God also said to Moses, “Say to the Israelites, ‘The LORD,^[d] the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you.’

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  
                                                                                       Jeremiah 29:11

Letters and Reflections to My Daughters - 1 by Eric Collier

10 days to go, September 2011

Dear Ari and Elli,

There was once a man named John Newton.  John is famous for a song he wrote called Amazing Grace. 

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

Most books written about John, tell about his radical conversion from a wretched slave trader to a pastor.  His dramatic conversion reminds me of Saul's conversion to Paul.  Both stories tell of men who were very bad that turned good because of God's grace on them.  But what most people don't know, is that John Newton adopted two little girls and later wrote beautiful letters to them. 

My purpose in writing you is to share my deepest, unimaginable love for you, to encourage you to accept our love and share it throughout your blessed life, and to encourage you dear children;

"when you look at the sun  I wish it may lead your thoughts to him who made it, and who placed it in the sky, not only to give us light, but to be the brightest, noblest emblem of himself; there is but one sun, and there needs not be another; so there is but one Saviour; but he is complete and all-sufficient, the Sun of righteousness, the fountain of life and comfort; his beams, wherever they reach, bring healing, strength, peace, and joy to the soul.  Pray to him, my dears, to shine forth and reveal himself to you.  O how different is he from all that you have ever seen with your bodily eyes!  He is the sun of the soul, and he can make you as sensible of his presence as you are of the sunshine at noonday; and when once you obtain clear sight of him, a thousand little things which have hitherto engaged your attention, will, in a manner, disappear.

               

                As by the light of op'ning day

                The stars are all conceal'd;

                So earthly beauties fade away

                When Jesus is reveal'd.

I entreat, I charge you to ask him every day to show himself to you. Think of him as being always with you ; about your path by day, about your bed by night, nearer to you than any object you can see, though you see him not ; whether you are sitting or walking, in company or alone. People often consider God as if he saw them from a great distance : but this is wrong; for though he be in heaven, the heaven of heavens cannot contain him ; he is as much with us as with the angels ; in him we live, and move, and have our being ; as we live in the air which surrounds us, and is within us, so that it cannot be separated from us a moment. And whatever thoughts you can obtain of God from the Scripture, as great, holy, wise, and good, endeavor to apply them all to Jesus Christ, who once died upon the cross, for he is the true God and eternal life, and though he be the King of kings and Lord of lords, and rules over all; he is so compassionate, that he will hear and answer the prayer of a child. Seek him, and you shall find him ; whatever else you seek, you may be disappointed, but he is never sought in vain."

I loved you before I knew you...

After your oldest brother Luke was born, God first put the thought in my heart to adopt.  I didn't really know why at that point, I was just figuring out how to hold a baby and change a diaper (yuck), but that idea was there and not going away.  There was just this thought that life's circumstances can leave children without a mom and a dad and if we were not open to love and give these children a home, then who would?  It was in these moments that my love started taking root and God started giving me the capacity to love you.  We read a verse in the Bible in the book of James chapter 1 verse 27 that says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

So indeed it was God that was stirring deep within us this desire to adopt you!

After discussing it, mom and I both decided to try and have another child and a few years after Luke, Silas was born. 

It took us a few years to get control of life again, but after doing so we started looking into adopting again.  A few years ago, we took some training classes and ultimately decided to wait until the boys got a little bit older. 

As you grow older, you will find great examples of faith and obedience by your friends and family.  We had many of those examples that we had witnessed adopt children and they provided encouragement to us.  Without them, I don't know that we would have had the courage or resolve to do it; so I thank God for them and he knows the reward they will receive.

That brings us to this year 2011 on a cold, dreary day in January. 

Mom and dad sat in our great room.  The one by the fireplace.  I remember it vividly as if it was  yesterday.  The snow was falling outside the big windows as we discussed adopting you.    "If you won't give these children a loving home, then who will?" turned into "if now is not the time, then when?"  We both agreed that we would and now was the time!  How appropriate that we were having Russian weather outside?  At that moment, our love sprouted its beautiful wings and we started loving you despite never having met you! 

Ya Tebya Lyublyu,

Papa

OH, IRENE!

Well, travel plans have changed.  Irene has had her way and our flights were all cancelled.  We stayed up all night trying to find alternate routes.  The result:  We will arrive in Russia just an hour or two before our court appearance (too close for my comfort!).  The worst part is that the airline will not let us change our return flight so we will get into St. Petersburg at 11:30am and leave the following day at 12:45pm.  Yes, that equals just over 24 hours.  Worst of all, it only allows us to see the girls two times!

As I have said, my heart is torn between my girls and my boys.  I was very sad that I would miss their football games today.  So I have decided that instead of dwelling on this being a trial, I am going to accept this as a gift from God.  I was able to see the boys play football today and still make our court date.  Thank you, God.

Our next step will be to see if we can actually make it home!  Depending on what Irene deals New York City, our flights may be canceled again.  Either way we have a plan so we feel good about it but prayers are always welcomed.  And, I wouldn't mind everyone asking for a miracle by praying for the ten day waiting period to be waved.  That would just be an awesome display of God's power and presence to a people who are still rather unfamiliar with Him.

Here is a video that my friends made for a shower they gave me.  Thanks Kelly & Amy!  You girls are the best! (sorry for the quality.  I was having problems uploading a better version.)

Full of Emotions

Wow, I never knew I could feel so many emotions at one time.  Most of them on opposite ends of the spectrum from each other.  Anxiousness, excitement, joy, thanksgiving....Fear, apprehensiveness, sadness, guilt.  Yes, that is my emotional status for the last month.  Would you like to live with me?  Have pity on my husband!  He deserves it.

My boys have never been too far from me.  When they have been, they have always been in the care of trusted family members who care for them as much as we do.  My heart is torn right now though.  Half of my heart is in Russia and the other half is sitting here with me watching cartoons.  If I go where my other half lives, then I am still not whole.  This is torture!  What is worse, is knowing that this next trip will still require me to leave half my heart in a foreign country, with strangers.  I have to daily had it over to God.  Trust that he is taking care of my precious girls until I can bring them home in about a month.  I have to keep reminding myself that God is the one who gave me these four amazing gifts in the first place and remember his promises.  He will care for them better than I ever could.  And he loves them more than I ever could.  He created them and they were a part of His family before they were made a part of mine.

Lot's of travels in the next month.  Please pray for travel safety, smooth adoption processing and smooth transition from party of 4 to party of 6!

Please report to court

So excited that we received our court date today.  We will be heading back to Russia for our court date.  We were a little disappointed to have it so late in August but that is overshadowed by our joy of just having a date given to us.  While it isn't our preferred time frame, it is one step closer to bringing the girls home.  This second trip will be a much shorter trip than the last one (I am afraid the jet lag is going to kill me on this one!) about 3-4 days.  On the court date,  the Russian government will officially declare the girls ours and give them new birth certificates with Eric and I as their parents and their last names will be Collier!  However, Russia has a mandatory waiting period of 10 business days before we can take the girls from the orphanage.  Our third trip will be another long trip as we have to spend 6 days in St. Petersburg for paperwork and 3-4 days in Moscow for more paperwork.  So much bureaucracy!  We are just thankful for God's hand in every detail that has allowed us to enjoy every moment of this journey.

First of Three

We are back from our first trip to St. Petersburg, Russia.  What a beautiful city!  We loved it!  We had such an amazing time meeting our girls and getting to see the sights of their birthplace.  We have absolutely fallen in love with that city.

From Eric:

Meeting our girls for the first time was a moment neither of us will ever forget.  Prior to meeting them they had never seen us, never heard our names, but the thought of a mama and papa was clearly on their minds.  We can't describe to you the moment we arrived at the baby home.  All the kids were playing outside.  I was feeling too much pressure and felt too awkward to pull out the video camera, but the moment is etched into my memory for eternity. 

I, more than Traci, was a little nervous about having girls.  Boys…they are easy…throw a ball, grunt, wrestle them to the floor and they are having a ball.  Girls, I wasn't so sure about.  Traci on the other hand knows exactly how to handle little girls and I just kind of followed her lead.    

All the kids were outside when we got to the baby home for the first time.  I remember the feeling of walking around the playground.  I was excited and nervous.  Would they want to be with us, would they throw a tantrum, etc?  First passing one group, then another.  All the kids had hats on so making out their faces wasn't really possible.  "Mama", I heard her before I saw her as Ariana "Nastia" ran out of her group and literally jumped into Traci's arms.  Next Elliana "Tasia" ran from the same group.  She's only 18 months so I was surprised that she was doing this as well.  She ran right to me and I picked her up.  She's tiny, maybe the size of a 1 year old.  Next, came a flurry of activity as we followed them from one playground apparatus to another. 

I left that first visit thinking what just happened!  The first visit was surreal.  It wasn't the best of our visits as those came later as we got to have some inside bonding time with the girls, but it was a moment neither of us will ever forget. 

We learned later when we met with the social worker that their mother had been an orphan who aged out of the institution at age 18.  She had Ari shortly thereafter.  Ari and Elli won't spend a day longer in the baby home than we are required to let them.  Their future is full of hope and promise! 

There are lots of videos and pictures on facebook documenting the trip.  If a picture is worth a thousand words, a video must be worth a million.  Not much I can say here can convey those thoughts as well as the videos.  I can tell you that I think Ari is really special.  She's smart, engaging, and funny.  At one point though, we are pretty sure she was sassing us in Russian!  Elli, was a bit harder to pin down at first because she has just recently starting walking well and was always on the move.  Plus, it's been so long since either of us had an 18 month old.  She catches on to what her sister is doing really fast though.  I bet that in 6 weeks when we go back she'll have changed a lot.

My birthday, August 16th, is our target date for going back.  It's a lot to ask of the courts, but we are hoping none the less to have court in August so we can bring them home at the end of the summer. 

Last night Luke shared something with me that took me by surprise.  I'm not sure his mom even knows about this yet as she was already asleep.  Each night, we uploaded videos and pictures and called home via Skype.  This way the call was free and we could see each other on video.  That was awesome and helped us miss the boys less.  Luke told me that after he had watched the video of the girls one night as he laid in bed that "tears starting streaming down his face because he wanted so badly to be able to go and see them and hold them."  I think he's going to make a great big brother to the girls!  I also think that we are blessed to have the Holy Spirit working on all of our hearts.  I know God must be doing the same thing for the girls.

Leaving was hard.  On the one hand we missed home and the boys were really starting to miss us by day 10.  We sensed it on the last couple of calls.  We also recognized that the girls were getting quite used to us and the little bit of freedom we brought them each day.  We can only hope that they understand why we had to leave.  Before Silas was born, I wondered if I could love him as much as I loved Luke.  Of course I learned that I could.  I also wondered if I would love the girls as much as I do the boys, that question has been answered as well.    Our bond will be unique and one of a kind.  I can only imagine what it will be like to have them home and what a day looks like a year from now with them a part of our family.  Until that time though, it's as if part of us is missing.  A part we didn't even know existed 7 months ago.

5000 miles

Well, we made the long journey to Russia.  We were so blessed to be able to sit Business class the whole way!  Talk about being spoiled! 
Saint Petersburg is beautiful.  We have not seen the girls yet.  We can't see them until we get the official referral tomorrow.  We will keep you posted. 
Please continue to pray for our travels, the girls, for good bonding time with the girls and also for the boys at home with thier grandparents.  And lastly for me to feel good...seems I may have a sinus infection.  Hoping it is just a result of jet lag.

Here we go!

Well, Russia approved us!  We have our appointment with the judge in Russia and we will get to see the girls the whole week we are there.  We have lots to do to get ready and very little time to do it!  We are so excited and grateful to God for orchestrating everything perfectly to this point.  We know He will continue to be faithful.

I can't believe it is already time to go but at the same time it feels like the perfect time.  I am a little speechless at the moment...mainly because my mind is racing with all the things I need to do in the next week.  We will keep you posted.

Keep us in your prayers for safe travels, timely flights, that the girls will be open to meeting us and their adjustment to their new lives, and the Russians we will be with to see God's glory in all of it.

Bitter Sweet Celebration

         We spent a wonderful Memorial Day weekend camping in Kentucky with great friends.  Several times throughout the weekend we made note of the changes coming to our family;  bigger tent, more stuff, I will no longer be making solo trips to the bathroom, etc.  It is fun to imagine how our lives will be changed forever as well as the lives of Anastasia (Ana) and Taisia (Elli).  We finished the weekend off by celebrating a major milestones for both Anastasia and Taisia.  On May 26th, Taisia turned 18 months and on May 29th, Anastasia turned 3 years old.  I can't help but feel bitter sweet about the celebration.  On one hand, we had hoped to be in Russia in May to celebrate with Anastasia but God's time proved better!  On the other hand, the girls probably know nothing about us yet.
        Can you imagine being 3 years old or 18 mths and having your mother hand you off to complete strangers?  Waiting for her return for over a year?  Introducing you to someone as your sibling only to have never seen or heard of her before?  Followed by being told a new mommy and daddy will be coming to take you to a new home, new brothers, pets, lifestyle, language, and country?  Their lives have been so short but full of confusion, insecurity and hurt.  It almost seems wrong to cause more pain and confusion by removing them from the orphanage and caregivers that they have come to know well.   However, just like our journey to eternity is never without troubles and heartache, these girls will be better for it.  While I am still trying to figure out how to be joyful in those times as Paul calls us to be, I know the troubles and heartaches mold me, refine me, and make me shine like gold before our Lord.  This is what I hope for the girls.

God is Faithful

Today I was taking a morning walk and praying for both our adoption situation and my sister-in-law's adoption.  I was praising God for his hand in each situation so far.  Three little children are going to get one awesome surprise in the next few months!  I begged God to put Anastasia and Taisia in a home where they will be loved unconditionally and taught the Word of God.  These two little girls now have a special place in my heart.  Whether they come home to live with us or are put into a Russian home, matters not to me.  What I want for these two little ones is to know their Creator, to know love and to know each other.

We received good news today.  Taisia has been moved to be with Anastasia!  So thank you, Jesus, for answering that prayer.  They now know they have a sister and what she looks like!  The plan is for us to travel to Russia in late June to meet the girls.  I think my heart just skipped a few beats!  However, we are not clear on whether or not the legal issue with Taisia has been resolved.

Also, our agency will be traveling back to Russia in early June with an American Pediatrician who is offering to examine the girls.  This was not a concern of ours but it is a nice little perk to get extra information.

Please pray for Taisia's legal status to be resolved, safe travels, smooth processing of paperwork and a joyful meeting with the girls.

Positive News...

Eric's thoughts and update:

Recently, part of me started thinking that the girls' legal situation is an uphill battle and reality was starting to set in that perhaps we would have to pick other girls.  Although we've never touched them or talked to them, it's an odd feeling and remarkable just how quickly feelings can grow.  I guess it would be kind of like seeing a video of your unborn baby and then finding out that oops they are not actually yours, start over.  This morning however after peeling off from a bike ride with a friend either out of sheer exhaustion combined with zero carbs or through the promptings of God I found myself ditching that reality and pleading to  God to bring these girls to us! 

Interesting development via Russia today.  The word is that our adoption agency thinks they might be successful in moving Taisia from her orphanage to the older sister's orphanage.  Previously, when we asked if this was an option the answer was absolutely not, they won't do that.  I asked them to clarify that response given this new strategy and they replied that in previous cases they were told "no way" but that their representative in St. Petersburg is more hopeful this time. 

This would do some amazing things for the girls.  First and foremost, the Baby Home Taisia would be moved to is excellent and probably the best baby home in Russia according to our agency.  So even if the legal situation doesn't resolve itself to free up Taisia to adoption at least she is getting an "upgrade" and she'll get to be with her sister who she has never met!  However, this move would remove Taisia from the district and the prosecutor's tentacles that filed this motion and put her in a very friendly district to our agency. 

As to why the prosecutor filed this motion…we don't know but most likely it was based on a very common current trend in Russia not to terminate parental rights, but only limit them.  Sound familiar?  I just read yesterday that the US has 425,000 kids in foster care.

We'd ask you to pray for this good news with us and for clear direction from God whether or not we should move forward.  If Taisia (Elli) gets moved, then I suspect that's a pretty good sign.  :-)  We should know in a few more weeks.  If you find yourself prompted to ditch reality and "go for it" then I say let her fly!

Cunning and Crafty Attacks

³ But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.  
                                                                                            2 Corinthians 11:3

I have often thought of Eve in the garden with Satan.  Thinking, "Eve, how stupid could you be?  How can you not see that he is twisting God's words?" 

¹⁵ The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. ¹⁶ And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; ¹⁷ but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”                                                                                    Genesis 2:15-17

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”  ² The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, ³ but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”
 ⁴ “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. ⁵ “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
 ⁶ When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.
                                                                                                       Genesis 3:1-6

In chapter 3 verse 1,  it calls the serpent the craftiest of any of the wild animals.  I have read that many times and agreed with it wholeheartedly.  However, recently, I have become vividly aware of just how crafty and cunning he can be.  As we entered this journey of adoption, I knew that there would be spiritual warfare.  I think I was naive in my understanding of my role in this war!  I have found myself hearing Satan whisper in my ear, "Does God really want you to go adopt these two little girls?  Surely not.  Just look at you.  You have health issues...You don't do a very good job of taking care of the two children you already have...adding one or two more would destroy everything you already have.  Maybe this is God's way of closing the door."    Even as I write this, it seems absurd to even give one ounce of thought to these statements.  But Satan is so crafty that somehow it makes sense when I hear it.  I have to keep reminding myself that we have prayed about this continually and that many doors have been flung open for us.  Almost to the point, where we feel we have been placed into an Indy Car for this ride and we have the pedal to the metal!  It may be that God allowed this pause because we needed it.

How easy it is to look at someones situation and judge the obvious.  My public apology goes out to Adam and Eve!  I am sorry for judging your decisions with my 20/20 hindsight.

Please continue to pray for our journey.  We have not yet heard anything about the prosecutor and the status of the girls.  As I have said previously, we do not want to get into a battle over these girls if there is a family member that wants to care for them.  So please pray for the right caregiver for the girls and that the right girls will end up in our home.  Also pray that we will resist Satan's cunning and crafty attacks as I know they will only get stronger as we get further into this process.  Our devotion is to Jesus Christ.  Please pray that we will not be led astray from it.

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 

                                                                                                  Romans 8:31

We wait...

What seems like a simple call to Russia for clarification is turning into an extraordinary test of my patience!

Isaiah 64:4
Since ancient times no one has heard,
   no ear has perceived,
no eye has seen any God besides you,
   who acts on behalf of those who wait for him. 

Road Block!

Well, sadly, there is a road block.  Ironically, just in the past two weeks (as long as we have had the referral) a prosecutor has decided to file for "limited parental rights" even though the mother of the girls has already signed away her rights.  He is only doing this on one of the girls but it will pull them both off the adoption registry and put them into foster care.  This is a double edge sword.  I certainly don't want to take children away from their mother especially if she is just needing time to get things back together.  However, I also don't understand what the situation is and I know that a loving family is better than sitting in an orphanage or foster care a day longer than necessary.  Not to mention, that if this issue is resolved and we pursue these two girls, there are 2 more opportunities for a relative to come back and get them.  Which would mean becoming attached to the girls (which has already happened) and spending a lot of money to come home empty handed.  We certainly need God's guidance and lots of pray for a clear path.  Please pray for this process and all involved.  This is spiritual warfare at it's finest, and all we can do is pray and trust God.  Hoping to update you soon!

Mother Russia, here we come!

We received a wonderful surprise on Monday.  Our agency called with our referral (a very fun story!).  So we will be off to Russia soon to see our two beautiful little daughters.   God is so good!  His fingerprints are all over this.  So thankful for that.  Not sure I could do it if I knew God wasn't involved.

Prayer Requests:

• Safe travels
• God's perfect timing for travel, court, etc.
• Both girls remain healthy and their hearts are open to our love
• for Luke & Silas to adjust well to the crazy travel schedules as well as our new "normal" when the girls come home.
• God's glory will shine in the lives of these two precious girls

Still Waiting!

This could probably be the title for a very long time!  No news yet. 

However, I ask that you pray fervently as Christians about our parental rights.  Two very disturbing and disappointing news stories came out in the last 2 weeks.  The first being that England has declared christian couples unfit to be adoptive or foster parents (I believe this still has the opportunity to be overturned).  While initially, you may be thinking "That is another country and I don't want to adopt or foster."  However, I challenge you to think about what this really means.  This has the potential to eventually trickle down to you and your fitness as a parent.  Right now the issue is in connection with homosexuality beliefs but if Satan has his way, it won't stop there.  Remember, God tells us that Satan roams the earth looking to steal, kill and destroy.  What easier way that to take your children from you.  Also, I am not sure of the exact percentage, but around 90% of the families who choose to adopt/foster are Christians.  What will happen to all the orphaned children?  Please pray with me that England with see the error of this decision.

The second story comes from Ethiopia.  They have decided (effective last week) to cut their adoption referrals by 95%!!!!  Essentially, that is about 5 referrals a day.  I am not sure what has sparked this decision but again, what will happen to the children waiting for a loving family home?  Will they die, diseased and alone?  Will they ever find a mom and a dad to love them?

What if something awful happened and you and your spouse died?  Where would your children go?  To a relative?  What if the government decided that either your relative wasn't suitable to be a parent or that they can only process 5 children a day and there are 100's of thousands before your child?
I want nothing more than to get my two little girls safely home with me.  But I will not ignore the enormous need for other families to join me in fighting for the rights of all these orphans and our children already home with us.  I wish I could take them all in myself.  However, I can't do it alone.  Do you realize that if every christian family took in one orphan, there would be no orphans?  I am not trying to make you feel guilty or even say that you must adopt.  That is something you need to address with God.  What I do know is His commandment in James 1:27:
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

My life goal is to get to heaven and hear God say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

THE WAIT BEGINS

Our meeting with IAG in Pittsburgh went great.  We feel even more confident about working with them.  They have such an amazing story about how they got into adoption.  Also, Larisa (the head of the agency) has spent so much of her own time over the past 20 years cultivating relationships and improving the orphanages in Russia.  She has made such a difference in so many little lives.  She truly sees the children has hers and wants to find the right families for them.  Not find a child for the family.  

Now we wait....wait for our referral.  Our home study is now complete and official.  We have to send off for our I600A approval which is part of the advanced immigration process for the children we adopt.  The approval could take up to 2 months to receive.  We really can't do a whole lot until that comes back.  Our Dossier is complete as well.  We are so anxious to get a referral but we know it all has to be in God's time.  I just wish He worked a little more on my time!  ;)

We continue to pray for the girls every day (in fact it is 12:22 am as I write this, they should be fast asleep!).  We are praying for health both physically and emotionally.  I am not sure about now but at one point Russia's national religion was Atheism.  So we are praying that the girls' hearts will be open to hear and accept the message of Jesus.  Then the normal prayers of travel safety for us, finances, and our own hearts to be prepared.  Ultimately, God is in control and we have faith in God.

Another Step Closer

Last Tuesday we had the home study visit.  Everything went very well.  The rough draft of the study is done and being sent to our agency today!  God has been so good to us!  Our dossier is finished as well (except for the home study).  St. Elizabeth's and our social worker, Jo Anne, were so gracious to work on such a quick time frame.  Jo Anne, said that they normally take 4-6 weeks to get a home study done.  Ours was done in a few weeks.  Just goes to show you how inefficiently we work sometimes.  I am sure there is a reason for the time they take.  I am just glad they made an exception for us.

Our next stop is to meet with our adoption agency, IAG, this week.  After that, it will just be finalizing the home study and dossier.  And ultimately, waiting for our referral.  Besides chasing down paperwork, we have been trying to prepare for the girls.  However, I am finding that extremely difficult!  This is harder then pregnancy!  At least when you are pregnant, you know you will be getting an infant.  So, you know exactly what they need...a crib, 0-3 month clothes, and all the rest of the baby gear.  We could get girls anywhere from 9 months to 5 years old.  I guess I should just focus on getting the boys' room arranged and organized so that when the time comes, I won't be trying to do both rooms.

Life is good!  Still praying for travel safety, for the girls' hearts to be prepared, and for the four of us to be prepared as well.  Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!!

Tuesday

Time for our home study!  The social worker is coming Tuesday for our home visit.  I can't believe how fast this is all moving.  I know there will be road blocks at some point but I am thanking God for each step we clear.  It is a little unnerving to have some stranger come to your home to determine your fitness as parents.  I feel like I have a thousand things to do before Tuesday.  The reality is that I know they are all meaningless.

I love how God puts little reassurances in our lives in the most unexpected places.  Last week, Eric and I were both having doubts.  Not doubts about what we are doing but doubts about if we could handle it, if we were choosing the right country, etc.   Luke gets the Secret Agent Adventures from Highlights.  Each month the adventure takes place in a different month.  This month was Russia! 

Tongue Tied!

I guess God wanted us to make sure we had a feel for what winter is like in Russia!  Ice storm and then frigid temperatures...just glad we only have 3-4 months of it.  This weather has allowed us to stay home long enough to get our paperwork done.  All of the paper work for our home study is now complete.  Now we wait for the social worker to come for a home visit.  Then she gets the lovely task of writing a 10-12 page report on our fitness as parents.  We received a list for the dossier (the packet of papers to send to Russian government for approval).  No big surprises.  Should have dossier done in a few weeks.       We had heard the nightmares about the paper chase.  So far, we have not had any problems.  Praise God for that. 

First Russian lesson today.  Man, that is a hard language.  We love our vowels...they love their consonants!  I am sure I will pick up enough to get me by but it has been a long time since I tried to learn foreign language.  The boys will get their first lesson later today.  I am sure they will put me to shame!

If you would like to pray for us as we go through this journey, we would greatly appreciate it!  I am going to start including specific prayer requests on each post.  Our prayer requests for today:

• The children God has chosen for us are being well taken care of, loved and protected.
• God's timing on everything
• Eric and I, as well as the boys, are also prepared for the changes our family will encounter

We covet prayers!

We know this journey will be exciting, emotional and exhausting!  Just as being pregnant is also all those things, I know this too will be rewarding.  We pray every day that God will protect these children and hold them close to him until we can get to them.  Our specific prayers are that God has gone before us and chosen the children that are perfect for our family, that God is protecting them, and that their hearts are being prepared to accept the love that we want to give them.  

Our meeting yesterday with St. Elizabeth's went well.  Really just an informational meeting on all the paperwork.  And there is a lot of paperwork.  Lots of writing about ourselves.  You know, the kind of stuff I loathe!  So after I do school with the boys, it is on to writing...about me.

Because we aren't sure how quick or slow this process will be, I have already started nesting.  Funny how things around the house seem fine one minute and the next, they have to go!  ;)  I guess it is good.  It will give me something to do while we wait.

It's Time!

Over the past few years, God has put it on our hearts to think about adopting.  After a tough two and a half years, IT IS TIME!  God has called us all to care for the widows and orphans.

 ^"Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.  Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." 
                                                                                                                          James 1:26-27 

For Eric and I, that means adoption.  We are so excited to start this process.  Last week we were feeling called to do this but we didn't know where to start.  What agency, what country, how many, boy, girl?  We spoke with several of our friends who have adopted (all from different agencies and countries).  After having lunch with Mark and Wendy Foster, it was clear to us the answers to all those questions.  International Assistance Group, Russia, 2 girls - sisters.  It was definitely all an orchestration of God.  An impromptu lunch, that I went into thinking we would go to Brazil (or another Latin/South American country) for 1 little boy.  God's adventures are so fun!

So where are we in the process?  Official start date was Jan. 22 (Happy Birthday, Mom!)  We have hired IAG to assist us in the adoption process.  We have an initial meeting with our home study agency, St. Elizabeth Coleman, today!  And we have started tracking down initial documents, i.e. passports, birth certificates, marriage license, etc.

We are so anxious.  I wish we could just go hop on a plane right now!